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Sage Sayings

  • "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~W. Churchill

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Psych Series #7


Psych Series #7: Addiction - Drama

Do you find yourself drawn to crises, panic, worry? Do you find yourself getting caught up in other people's drama over and over? Do you ever feel like you need to rescue others involved in dramatic situations? You may be addicted to drama.

We most often hear about addiction when talking about substances such as alcohol or illicit drugs. Other common addictions include gambling, sex, work, exercise, or eating disorders. Not as commonly discussed is the "high" some people get from being involved in dramatic situations. That's right, people can be addicted to just about anything, even drama!

What is addiction or addictive behavior?
"Any activity, substance, or behavior that has become the major focus of a person's life to the exclusion of other activities, or that has begun to harm the individual or others physically, mentally, or socially is considered an addictive behavior."

Addictive behaviors often bring about a sense of euphoria and may produce beta-endorphins, giving a person that sense of "high". A person involved in addictive behaviors may actually develop an addiction to his or her own brain chemicals.

So, how can you tell if a behavior is just a bad habit or an addiction? Here are some common characteristics of addictive behaviors:

  • Obsession (constantly thinking about) with an object, activity, or substance.
  • Engaging in the behavior even when it causes harm
  • Compulsively engaging in the activity or behavior
  • Withdrawal symptoms upon cessation of the activity (irritability, craving, restlessness, or depression).
  • Loss of control over when, how long, or how much he/she will continue the behavior.
  • Denial that problems are resulting from he/her engagement in the behavior.
  • Hiding the behavior from family and close friends
  • "Blackouts" while engaging in behavior
  • Depression
  • Low self esteem
  • Anxiety if he/she does not feel in control of his/her environment
  • Family history of psychological or physical abuse
Now that we have defined the general characteristics of addictive behaviors...let's look specifically at addiction to drama!

Signs & Symptoms
  • Experiencing one crisis or challenging situation after another, year after year
  • Overreacting to stressful situations - panic, worry, anger
  • Feeling powerless over life circumstances
  • Blaming others/ not taking responsibility for his/her own life choices
  • Retelling a story over and over to anyone who will listen
  • Feeling the need to take care of or "rescue" others in dramatic situations
  • Excessively gossiping about others' misfortunes
Why do people create drama? With any unhealthy behavior, there is a payoff. This is the sense of "high" previously noted. Common payoffs from creating drama include a sense of love, attention, safety, and security. Yet, these payoffs are often fleeting and short-lived. Once the drama stops, those feelings decrease. This promotes the vicious cycle of creating more and more drama to sustain that overall sense of well-being.

Tired of the cycle? Ready to make some healthy changes? Well, here are some ways to change your beliefs and behaviors to develop a healthier way to gain love, attention, safety & security. First, try to identify what the underlying need is....insight into what drives the behavior will help identify ways to change that behavior pattern. Other options include:
  • Remember your strengths and skills
  • Focus on solutions, not the problem
  • Breathe and process your emotions instead of overreacting
  • Take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming others
  • Look for lessons/gifts in each situation
  • Avoid retelling a story over and over again
  • Find ways to keep a positive attitude during difficult times
  • Move beyond the "victim" mentality
  • Live in the present, let go of the past
  • Enjoy the richness of peace and stillness
  • Participate in calming mind/body practices such as yoga
  • Avoid gossiping
  • Stay out of others' business
Hope this helps you drama kings and queens out there to take a new approach to getting your needs met!

Peace, Love, and Happiness!







Friday, April 16, 2010

Bringing Me Down

Everyday, always the same
I hear your name and it cuts through me like a chainsaw
And I fall back into that simple fool that you once knew

And just as soon as I let you back in
Seems I'm reminded of all of this again

I can't believe that I let you walk all over me
And I can't believe that you had such a hold on me
Bringing me down, you're bringing me down
You're bringing me down

How much more will it take until I break and I drive that stake
Right into that thing that you call your heart
Hell it's fallen apart and I don't think it worked right from the start

Just as soon as I let you back in
Seems I'm reminded of all of this again

I can't believe that I let you walk all over me
And I can't believe that you had such a hold on me
Bringing me down, you're bringing me down

You're bringing me down, down, down
Bringing me down, you're bringing me down
You're bringing me down, down, down

Bringin' me down, bringin' me down
Bringin' me down, bringin' me down

I can't believe that I let you walk all over me
And I can't believe that you had such a hold on me

And I can't believe that I let you walk all over me
And I can't believe that you're still bringing me, bringing me down

You're bringing me, bringin' me down
Bringin' me down, bringin' me down!

~ Drowning Pool

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Funnies from the Sarcastic



Ah, some refreshing sarcasm from my favorite Someecards! Thanks to B.R. for introducing me to the marvelous cache of sarcastic fodder!

Peace, Love, Happiness, and Humor!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Prison vs. Work

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.


No wonder recidivism rates are high! Hope this brings some smiles to all you out there in cubicle-land!

Peace, Love, and Happiness!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

"Just Like You"

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you

I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be cold
I could be ruthless
You know I could be just like you

I could be weak
I could be senseless
You know that I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

On my own, 'cause I can't take living with you
I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you
Want me to

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you

~ Three Days Grace

Monday, February 15, 2010

Our Forever Garden

Our Forever Garden

"Our forever garden, a place where you and I
sit on a bench made of wood, carved with hearts.
A magical garden, where roses glitter with dew,
soft breezes sing love songs,
cooling waters of azure blue glisten in the sun.
Memories are created, dreams come true,
in this garden of ours.
Alone with our thoughts,
sheltered from everyday life,
paradise for all eternity.
Hearts smiling with love,
gives life meaning, proves it's worthwhile.

Our forever garden, a place where
we promise 'to be faithful partners in sickness and in health,
in good times and in bad,
in joy as well as in sorrow.
To love unconditionally,
to support our goals,
to honor and respect each other,
to laugh and to cry together,
and to cherish each other for as long as we both shall live.'

Our forever garden, a place where
we will dwell for infinity, fulfilling these vows.
Savoring the sweet fragrance of roses,
listening to love songs sung by the wind,
bathing in cool cleansing waters,
nurturing the love that grows,
keeping the magic alive in A jamais nortre jardin.
Je t'aime mon cheri."

~Sylvia

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Beautiful

"But you have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at s**t through each other's eyes"

~~lyrics from M.M.